Drunken Fun
by Tsuyu Mikazuki
Summary: No it's not a lemon. My friend wrote this based on JackOLantern. This is what happens if Amy, Allie, Nell, and Pendergast go to a bar. Enjoy! RR!
1. Allie, The Devil On My Shoulder

_My friend Amy wrote this in hopes I could work it into the sequel to Jack-O-Lantern. Needless to say, it wouldn't work in with my plan. So here it is. It's dead hilarious and should not be read by anyone who cannot take Pendergast bashing by three really drunk women. I DID NOT WRITE THIS! It is a one shot that I hope to never have to continue._

Amy pulled up in front of a dingy building. Almost all the windows were boarded up and the sign above the door was tattered. The faded letters read: 'The Hap Silr'.

"Home sweet home." Amy said happily to Nell. "That is, if you recognize it."

"Oh. My. God." Nell said slowly. "It's the Happy Sailor! Ah the memories…" When Pendergast shot her a weird glance she clarified. "Me and my friends used to get sloshed here in College. Goddamn! This place looks like shit! What happened?"

"Of course it is!" Allie exclaimed excitedly. As Pendergast opened the car door, he could hear shouts and off-key singing from inside the dilapidated building. That defiantly meant it was open. This place had all the signs of being a 24-hour happy hour. "Well…" Allie continued as she stepped out of the car. "A few months ago the board of health tried to close this place down. It had something to do with them finding dead rats in the brewery or something, But me and Amy rallied against it so here it is."

"Dead rats?" Pendergast asked rhetorically as he watched the black shadows of small rodents dance on the ally wall. "Why does that not surprise me?

"Wow, guys. This is really cool and all…" Nell said as she shot Pendergast a warning look. "But I don't think I should do this. I'm a fed now and this does not strike me as being a good idea. Can't we just go to a nice restaurant? Like Olive Garden?" Pendergast felt momentary relief before Amy re-opened her mouth.

"HELL NO!" Amy shouted. "My boyfriend Jorge works there." She said in a quieter voice." After receiving some confused looks she said, "Yes, my Mexican boyfriend works at an Italian restaurant. THEY CAN'T DISCRIMINATE HIM!"

"Since when do you have a boyfriend?" Nell grinned maliciously. Amy's eyes narrowed.

"Ever since you got laid! Even though he's a albino inbreed from New Orleans!" She spat.

"Anyways," Allie said, stepping in-between the two. "This could be your last night to hang out at your favorite bar with your favorite alive friends in the coolest city ever."

"Yeah, New York City's for fags. No offense Pendy."

"Er, none taken." Pendergast said, rather taken aback by the girl's gumption and the nickname.

"Well, ok. I guess one drink here won't hurt." Nell relented. "Let's get inside. It's cold out here!"

"That's the spirit!" Allie rejoiced. "By the way, Pendy, you can be the designated driver. Whatever that is…"

"Gladly. But will you girls be alright?"

"Don't worry." Allie said smiling and patted her ample stomach. "I can hold my alcohol.

_DUN. DUN. DUN! Ha! Guess who's back. Back again. Tsuyu's back. Tell a friend._ _Yes I listen to Eminem. Anyways, Hi! I decided to divide this into two chapters. Me likey the cliff-hangers. Love it? Hate it? Review or be burned alive by Pendy's neato flamethrower! _


	2. The Fun Of Alcohol

_Here it is, finally._

"Don't worry." Allie said smiling and patted her ample stomach. "I can hold my alcohol.

Pendergast soon found out that this was a complete and utter lie. The evening started off badly when Amy ordered strong drinks for the three women. The situation soon escaladed to phenomenal proportions. When Nell and Allie began to sing there own version of several Christmas carols, (Instead of Jingle Bells they were singing Jingle Balls.), and Amy was giver her load opinion on colors to some poor guy, Pendergast decided enough was enough and tried to cut the ladies off. After slipping some money to the bartender for the drinks, he proceeded to pry Nell and Allie off the Karaoke machine and take them unwillingly into an empty room.

Pendergast walked purposely to Amy, who had taken to man she was with to a whole new level of uncomfortable situations.

"See, Red is a good guy, y'know? So's Blue. And then there's Orange. Between you and me, Orange is an asshole. He's always runnin' around with Yellow behind Pink's back! And, - Hey! You're shrinking!" She exclaimed as her victim slowly backed away.

Pendergast put his hand on Amy's shoulder causing her to spin around.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" She screamed. Once seeing her captor, her face contorted into a large grin. "Hey! I know you! Hey, everybody! I know this guy!" Amy loudly informed the patrons as Pendergast dragged her away.

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Pendergast sat at a round table. Next to him on either side sat Nell and Amy; Allie sat across from him. Surrounding their table was empty cans and bottles of various sorts. Despite his strength, Pendergast had learned that nothing could get in the way of these three drunken women and more alcohol. He decided it would be better if he just sat there quietly.

At the moment, all three women were nursing on their own bottle of Smirnoff Ice. Allie was singing a Journey song, but in her drunken state she could only remember one verse. She sang that over and over again. Nell was arguing with a chair over how hot Harrison Ford was, and Amy was keeping herself busy with insulting Pendergast.

"You know what, Pendergast? When I first met you I thought you were an asshole. But now that I know you better, I still think yer and asshole." She nodded and took a swig from her bottle.

In the background, Allie was singing, "She took the midnight train going any-where… Do do do…"

Amy continued, "And you know what else, Pendy? I don't like what yer sayin' about the……thing. Yeah. In fact, this is what I tink about your ideas." She poured most of her bottle on his lap, and then promptly drained the rest. "I's got sumting else to say to you's. I quit." With that, Amy passed out on Pendergast's shoulder.

"Oh, Aloishush, let me help you with that." Nell offered, after kicking the chair across the room. He didn't think it was possible for her to slur his name any worse. Nell pushed Amy off his shoulder, who then slid to the floor, still asleep. Nell climbed on to Pendergast lap. "Okay, let's get you all cleaned up. Ooooh… He's warm…" She mumbled, falling asleep.

"DON'T STOP BELIEVING! Hey! " Allie paused seeing her companions had both fallen asleep. A wide grin spread across her face. "I WIN!"

At that moment, there was a loud knowing at the door. Allie fell to the floor screaming, "OH MY GOD! ITS WORLD WAR THREE!" She crawled under the table and continued to rant about how the German's flaming celery stick army was going to wipe them all out.

The door opened as two policemen walked in. "We got a call about a wild party." They then got a good look at the situation in front of them: An unconscious woman sitting on an alcohol soaked, and rather terrified man. There was another woman asleep on his shoe while the third was screaming about fascist pigs. "There must have been one hell of a party in here. What happened?"

"They got…..carried away." Pendergast said calmly as he looked down at Amy, who was drooling on his handmade shoes. "Could you help me get them to my car? I'll drive them to our hotel.

"Um…. Alright." One officer said while the other tried to coax Allie out from under the table. He jerked his hand back as Allie snapped at him.

"Thank you." Pendergast said gratefully as he picked up Nell. The other officer carried Amy out to the car. As Pendergast stepped back into the bar, he felt a finger poke into his chest.

"Hey." Allie slurred. "You can pick up the tab."

THE END

_Ha! It's done! Now read and review if you know what's good for you._


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